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Oil is a pantry staple. From frying to baking, to even some home remedies, this slippery greasy liquid is a must-have. But you know what is a must have must-have? A list of oil puns and jokes up your sleeve, of course!

Did you know that many and all types of oil have been used by humans all over the world for almost 5000 years now. The ancient Sumerians and Babylonians from Mesopotamia used crude oil for many purposes, the Romans and Greeks began to use petroleum for hardware later on.

In the slippery world of oil puns, the humor flows as freely as the liquid gold itself! Whether you’re frying up some crispy potatoes or revving up your car, oil is the unsung hero of our daily lives. So get ready to roll with laughter as we dive into the greasiest, most slippery jokes that will surely make you “squeal” with delight! Remember, folks, in the realm of puns, we’re here to lighten the mood and lubricate your spirits! Get ready for a oil-tastic ride, because when it comes to oil jokes, things are bound to get a little slick!

Oil Puns

Oil-ment (Ailment)– What makes oil sick.
Oil-iver Twist– Little olive’s favourite storybook.
Oil-lipop– Not a very pleasant lollipop to suck on.
Eau de Oil-ette– Greasy perfume.
Crude oil– Oil with no class.
Refined oil– Oil with class.
Palm oil– Oil poured into your cupped hands.
T-oil-et– Where oils pee and poop.
Qu-oil– A greasy bird.
Turm-oil– The hardships an olive.
Cortis-oil –Oily stress hormone.
Garg-oil– A greasy monster.
Alcoh-oil – Grease liquor.
Protoc-oil – The official procedure for handling oil.
Brocc-oily–Oily broccoli.
Arthur Conan D-oil– Every olive’s favourite mystery writer.
Susan B-oil – Olive singer who won Britan’s Got Talent in 2009.
Nap-oil-ean Bonaparte– France’s greasiest conqueror.
Mount Oily-mpus – Where the ancient frying gods of Greece live.
Greece (grease) – Oil’s favourite vacation country.
Grease– Butter’s favourite 70s musical.
In-grease– When oil multiplies.
Huile-power– Oil’s self-control.
Huile-ow Smith– Will Smith’s oily French daughter.
Huiled’olive– The will to live.
Oil love you very much!
Oil be there for you.
You’re oil I need.
Huile be coming round the mountain when he comes…
Oh, the huile-manity!

Oil Related Puns

Oil you need is a good laugh, and we’ve got just the right puns to get you bubbling with joy! Did you hear about the oil who went to therapy? It had too many emotional leaks! And why did the oil break up with the vinegar? Because it couldn’t handle the mixed emulsions! If you think oil is boring, think again – this slippery substance has refined humor!

Why didn’t the oil have many friends? Because he was a little crude. How about the olive oil who didn’t go out on dates? It wanted to be extra-virgin. And remember, when life gets messy, just add a little oil and watch things slide right into place. So, let’s crank up the humor and let the laughter flow! After all, in the world of oil puns, you can always count on a good drip of wit to keep things greasy!

Food Oil Puns

Blockbutter– Wildly popular movie about butter.
Butter-fly– When butter gets thrown out a window, it’s called butterfly!
Scuttlebutter– When butter gossip and tell tales about one another behind their backs.
Olive-r Twist – The grooviest dancing olive.
Bil-lards (Billiards) – The greasiest game of snooker you ever played.
You’re my butter half!
You can’t churn back time.
I was just sitting, watching the world churn.
Olive (I love) you!
Olive (I live) for puns.
Olive me (All of me) is cool.

Science Oil/Fat Puns

Hi-drocarbons– The friendliest substances oil.
Hydrocar-boons– If baboons and hydrocarbons had a baby.
Hydrocar-bonbons– Candy hydrocarbons.
Paraffin– Two fins.
Nap-thenes– The sleepiest chemicals in crude oil.
Arrow-matics– The nice smelling components in crude oil.
Phos-pho-lipids– Scientific name for the fats and oils in pho noodles.
Lip-ids– Lip fat.
Li-peed– Fat that wet himself.
Fatty acids– That’s a very rude way to call acids.
Glizzy-rol (Glycerol)– The fats in hotdogs.
I am lipid (livid)!
We’re like oil and water, we can’t mix.
Wax up, guys?
I’m on a glyce-roll.

Car Oil Puns

Pet-rol– When cars teach their pets to roll over.
Expecto Petroleum– How cars cast magic spells!
Cleo-petrol– Ancient Egyptian queen of oil.
Queso-line– Melty cheese that fuels cars.
Gas-p– When you can’t believe oil prices.
G-ass– A donkey that runs on petrol.
Laughing gas– Fuel that makes cars go hahaha.
Fuel-go– Fires started by a Mexican at a gas station.
It’s petrol can, not petrol cannot!
I can fuel it in my bones.
You absolute fuel, you buffoon!
Gas me up, gas me up.
Take a gas…

Oil Jokes

Buckle up for some oil-infused chuckles! Why did the oil start a band? Because it had the perfect grease for the groove! And what do you call it when oil spills at a comedy show? A slippery slope to laughter! Ever heard about the oil that went to college? It graduated with flying colors but still couldn’t find a job – it just kept getting poured into the wrong positions!

Why did the mechanic always carry a bottle of oil? Because it’s crucial for lubricating conversations! And what did one oil say to another during a race? “Let’s not get too heated or we might lose our cool! Remember, in the world of oil jokes, it’s all about staying slick and having a barrel of fun. So, let’s get those laughs rolling and watch the good times flow!

Q: What happens when you feed a horse eggs and oil?
A: He mayo-neighs.

Q: How is extra virgin olive oil NSFW?
A: It’s Not Safe for Wok.

Q: Herbs and oilmakepesto;what do you get when you mix olive oil, spinach, and sweet peas?
A: You get the comic and cartoon classic Popeye.

Q: What happened when the German philosopher dipped his hand in boiling oil?
A: Johann Gottfried.

Q: What do you call the world’s most famous oil painting?
A: The Gulf Of Mexico.

Q: What did the hole in the ground say to the oil rig?
A: I’m bored.

Someone threw a bottle of Omega-3 capsules at me!Luckily my injuries are only Super-fish-oil.
My wife told me to put olive oil on the shopping list. Great idea honey, now it’s soaked.
I saw a 2000-year-old oil stain. It was from ancient Greece.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing. Drench them in oil, and they’ll stop squeaking.
I’m quite old and I’ve never used essential oils. Which makes me think they’re not really as essential as they claim to be.
I set up a production business for oils that clear up colds and nasal blockages.
It was an olfactory oil factory.
I bought some engine oil for my bike, but it was too thick, so I thinned it out with some gasoline.Then it was too thin, so I added more oil, but I just can’t seem to get it right. It’s a viscous cycle.
Did you hear about the award-winning science film about oil and water? It’s immiscable.
What’s the difference between a software salesman and a snake oil salesman?
The snake oil salesman knows what’s inside the bottle…
If olive oil comes from olives and mineral oil comes from minerals…I wouldn’t wanna know where baby oil comes from.
So, a large oil company have announced they were going to be producing fuel from insect urine. I think it’s B.P.
Van Gogh masterpiece defaced by Just Stop Oil activists in London. A spokesman for the group said, “We will not rest until all 19th century painters switch to acrylics or water colors.”
I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen, I saw a man cooking sliced potatoes in oil. I asked him, “Are you the friar?”
He replied, “No, I’m the chip monk.”
My wife stared at me in disbelief and cried, “You’re shirtless and also covered in… oil?!”
I chuckled proudly, “Well, you’re always saying that I never glisten!”
A man on a fat-free diet reads a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free free French fries.
“Sounds great!” said the man, as he ordered some.He watched as the cook lifted a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them in the box.
“Wait a minute, those don’t look fat free!”
“They sure are,” the cook said. “We only charge for the potatoes; the fat is free.”
I was watching a show about Ancient Egypt, and they mentioned that there were Seven Sacred Oils that they used to anoint the dead with.
I thought that sounded interesting, so I decided to Google “Seven Sacred Oils of Egypt” and the all of results is about where I can buy the essential oils the Egyptians used, some MLM stuff.
I cannot stress enough how this is not what I was looking for, but in hindsight I probably shouldn’t have been surprised that looking up something related to Ancient Egypt led me to a pyramid scheme.
In the early 1700s, two upper-class British gentlemen are celebrating Christmas together and giving each other gifts. The first man gives the second a fine golden pocket watch with impeccable craftsmanship, a pristine and delicate item for only the wealthy. When it comes time for the second gentleman to give his gift, however, he first starts to explain,
“My gift is only for the wealthiest of men, and it is a special seasoning that has just been invented”. Then, he produces a fine glass bottle, with the label, ‘Vegetable Oil’. The gift is received with awe, and the first man opens the bottle and tries to pour some of it out. However, to his horror, the only thing that comes out is a black disgusting sludge!

Outraged, he throws the bottle down and proclaims to the man, “I was promised something of high quality! This isn’t some kind of refined oil at all, this is just crude!”

As we oil our way to the finish line, let’s squeeze in a few final laughs! Why did the oil blush? Because it saw the salad dressing! And what did the engine say to the oil? “You complete me!” When life gets tough, just remember: you can always pour your heart out. So, whether you’re frying up a feast or just looking to lighten the mood, don’t forget that humor is the best lubricant! So keep those laughs flowing, and may your day be as smooth as a well-oiled machine – no spills allowed!