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Olives are one of those things that are an acquired taste. But you know what is sure to put a smile on everyone’s face? Puns and jokes! So to balance all the hate out with love, we’ve gathered a collection of funny olive stuff for you.

Olives are a huge part of the culinary world – from its pickled fruit to the oil. But they are also incredibly famous in Greek myths! Yes! In an Athenian myth, Athena was arguing with Poseidon over who should rule the city. Poseidon struck Acropolis with his trident and a saltwater spring flooded the land. But Athena planted an olive in the same spot that soon flourished – so she won.

Olives have been around for thousands of years, and they’re practically the “olive” branch of puns – a symbol of humor that keeps on giving! Did you also know that olives are technically a fruit? Yup, those little bites of briny goodness are as fruity as a banana. But don’t worry, we won’t compare them too much. After all, bananas aren’t known for adding flair to a martini.

Now, olive puns are a whole other flavor of fun. Whether you love ‘em stuffed, sliced, or in your favorite salad, you’ll soon find that these puns are truly the pits… in a good way! We could say they olive to make you laugh. And let’s be honest, life would be a little dull without a few olive groaners.

So grab a bowl of your favorite olives and get ready to roll in the laughter as we dive into a pun-filled feast that will have you saying, “I’m just here for the olive puns and jokes!” Get ready to brine and dine on some seriously silly wordplay! Like they say “Olive for puns”.

Olive Puns

Owl-ive– If an owl and an olive had a baby.
O-lift – Olive elevators.
O-live – Opposite of O-dead.
O-leave– An olive rolling out of the room.
O-leave– An olive on holiday.
Oh-live – A surprised olive.
Golive – Opposite of Stop-live.
Ow-live – Olive in pain.
Owkk-live – Olive throwing up.
Aww-live– What you say when you see a cute olive.
Brocc-olive– A broccoli-olive hybrid.
Brawl-ive– Bunch of olives in a fight.
Paw-live– If a cat had a baby with an olive.
Raw-live– An uncooked olive.
Cool-amata – The coolest kind of olives.
Aye kalamata – Olive version of “Ay caramba!”
Kala-meow-ta – A cat’s favourite kind of olive.
Kala-mata – Ukuleles made of olives.
Huiled’Olive– A chef’s reason to stay alive.
Olive Brunch (Branch) – When an olive makes takes you out to brunch as a peace offering.
Taupe-nade – Purple olive spread/dip.
Tap-enade – Olives that tap-dance.
Tap-onade – If you spilt your olive tapenade into lemonade.
Toupe-nade – Your olive dip with a wig on it.
Olive you very much.
Olive my friends are good people.
What a time to be olive!
I’m gonna kiss you olive-r.
O-live a little!
He’s a criminal, wanted: dead or olive.
Olive-r Twist, by Charles Dickens.
Deck the halls with boughs of olive, fa-la-la-la-la…

Olive Related Puns

Olive puns are the zesty twist every gathering needs! These little fruits are not just for adding flavor to your favorite dishes; they also know how to serve up a side of humor. For instance, when it comes to expressing affection, you can’t go wrong with “Olive you” or “Love olive me!” And let’s not forget the classic: “You’re the olive to my oil!” Whether you’re having a laid-back dinner or a fancy soirée, there’s always room for some olive humor. If you’re in a serious mood, remember that laughter is the best medicine. When life gets tough, just say, “Don’t worry; be olive!” Get ready to crack open a jar of puns and let the hilarity flow like a fine extra virgin olive oil!

Oil Puns

Oil-lipop– Not a very pleasant lollipop to suck on.
Eau de Oil-ette– Greasy perfume.
Crude oil– Oil with no class.
Refined oil– Oil with class.
Cortis-oil –Oily stress hormone.
Garg-oil– A greasy monster.
T-oil-et– Where oils pee and poop.
Brocc-oily–Oily broccoli.
Nap-oil-ean Bonaparte– France’s greasiest conqueror.
Mount Oily-mpus – Where the ancient frying gods of Greece live.
Greece (Grease) – Oil’s favourite vacation country.
Oil love you very much!
Oil be there for you.
You’re oil I need.
Huile be coming round the mountain when he comes…
Oh, the huile-manity!

Charcuterie Board Puns

Shark-uterie – A charcuterie board that east YOU!
Char-cute-erie – An adorable meat and cheese platter.
Char-coo-terie – Meat and cheese platter for pigeons.
Charcute-brie – Entirely brie cheese platter.
Char-cuterie – Burnt meats and cheeses.
R & Brie – A cheese’s favorite music genre.
Prosciutto – Professional Schiutto.
Sala-mew – Salami + cat.
S’more-tadella – Chocolate, marsmallow, graham crackers and…meat?
Life is gouda.
He’s such a cheddar-box.
To brie or not to brie.
Brie yourself.
Brie-lieve in yourself.
You’re absolutely brie-autiful.
Alexander the Grape – one of the greatest grape conquerors in olden times.
I hope you have a grape day.
Grape minds think alike.

Italian Dishes (with olives) Puns

Fettucine Afraid-o– A scared pasta.
Fat-tuccine– The opposite of thin-tuccine.
Linguinea Pigs– Pasta rodents you can keep as pets.
San-guine– A sad pasta.
Life is full of pasta–bilities.
A life without noodles seems im–pasta–ble.
That’s pre–pasta–rous!
You’re pasta–tively amazing.
I am tortellini in love with you.
The pesto’s yet to come.
She will always have a pizza my heart.
Pizza (peace of) mind.
My hut belongs to pizza.
I don’t know how to make a Caesar salad but I’m willing to take a stab at it.
I had a salad joke but I tossed it.
I’m feta-up with Greek salad.

Olive Jokes

Why did the olive get invited to every party? Because it always knew how to mix things up! Olive jokes are a delightful addition to any gathering. Take this classic: “What did one olive say to the other during a breakup? ‘You’re just too picky!’” Or consider this one: “Why did the olive go to the gym? It wanted to get pitted!” And let’s not forget the eternal question: “What makes an olive happy? Easy… Olive for puns!” If you’ve ever wondered about the secret to a good pun, it’s all about finding the right press! So, whether you’re munching on olives or just enjoying a casual chat, sprinkle in some olive jokes for a good chuckle. After all, nothing brings people together like a hearty laugh and a jar of deliciously funny olives!

Q: Why do depressed Frenchmen consume so much olive oil?
A: It gives them a huiled’olive.

Q: What is Popeye’s favorite Led Zeppelin song?
A: Olive My Love.

Q: What does a horse do when he eats a bunch of eggs and olive oil?
A: He Mayo-neighs.

Q: Why did Snoop Dogg ask for olive oil with his salad?
A: Fo’ drizzle.

Q: Why did the greek salad get angry?
A: It got feta up over olive the other salads picking on it.

Q: What happens when you put shaking olive oil onto lettuce?
A: Seizure salad.

Q: What do you call Basil, Pine Nuts, and Olive Oil with a bad attitude?
A: Pesto-mistic.

Q: Did you hear about the sales on olive branches?
A: They’ve been extended.

Q: Why were the two olives fighting?
A: They were pitted against each other.

Q: What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
A: Attempted Hummus-ide.

Q: What did the green olive say to the purple olive?
A: BREATHE, BREATHE!!!

Q: What do you get when you put scared olives on a pizza?
A: Pizza Afraid-o.

Q: How many olives grow on a tree?
A: Olive them.

A new name for olives has just been created! Greece’s Pieces.
Welcome to Subway! Lettuce meat olive your eggs-pectations.
If you put a tyrannical tyrant in tomato, garlic, olives, capers, anchovies – you’ll getPutinesca.
My wife asked why I had so many olives on my plate. Duh, it’s because I didn’t eat olive them.
My wife told me to put olive oil on the shopping list. Great idea, now it’s all soaked and greasy.
You should try adding olive oil to any vegetable. That way, it’s much easier to slide into to the trash.
A dad was looking through his folders for a joke on olives. He found it beyond the O-pun door.
I want to have a lobster roll with bacon and olives before I die. It’s on my baguette list….
There are three branches of government – executive, legislative, and judiciary. But there is a lesser known fourth branch that keeps the peace, the Olive Branch.
Charles Dickens famously liked martinis with olives or lemon peel. That’s why he’d always order one with an olive or twist.
A lot of people don’t know about Rudolph’s friend Olive, but she is mentioned in the song! It goes, “Olive, the other reindeer.”
If olive oil comes from olives and mineral oil comes from minerals; what does baby oil come from?
The Olive Garden should sponsor The Fast and Furious franchise. Because when you are there, you are family.
The armed grenade was under a pile of chickpeas, tahini and olive oil. Captain James threw himself on top of it to save his men. His medal for bravery was awarded post-hummusly.
I’ve started using garlic in my magic act. First, I crush it, adding basil and some pine nuts. Next, I blend them together with some fresh parmesan and olive oil…
Then…hey…pesto!
I got banned from Olive Garden for eating too many breadsticks.
“How many did you eat?”
“Olive them.”
Two olives are sitting on a table.
Olive #1: *rolls to the end of the table and falls off*
Olive #2: Are you okay down there!?
Olive #1: I’m a little bit bruised, but olive!
One day two olives, who were best friends were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured olive called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able.
The injured olive was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured olive, “I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through.”

He continued, “The bad news is that he’s going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life”.
A guy sits down at the bar and orders a martini with extra olives. The bartender gives him the drink, he takes out the olives, puts them aside on a napkin, downs the martini, and then asks for another. By the fourth drink, the bartender asks the man, “I don’t mind, but I gotta ask…. why order a martini with olives, only to take out the olives?”
The man hiccups and replies, “My wife sent me to the store for a jar of olives, but the store was closed so here I am.”

As we wrap up our journey through the world of olive puns and jokes, remember that laughter is the best seasoning for any meal! So whether you’re munching on olives at a party or just having a casual chat, keep those puns and jokes rolling. After all, a good pun is like a well-stuffed olive: it adds a little zest to life! So don’t hesitate to share your favorites and spread the laughter. With every chuckle, we can all agree: life is too short not to olive it up with humor. Now go forth and let the olive jokes flow!